“It’s okay, we don’t have to - we can just do something else,” I said lightly, hoping he wouldn’t pick up on my stifled desire. I really wanted to eat ramen tonight, but not just any ramen - really good ramen.

The problem with finding good ramen - which I LOVE - is that I haven’t quite won my husband over to those delicious noodles swimming in a spicy broth. (I am actively working on this though, rest assured.) So when I want ramen, we need to find a restaurant that serves additional items he would enjoy (going to two different places just isn’t feasible at this point).

What I said was technically true - we didn’t have to, but we both knew I wasn’t just being deferential. I was giving up.

My husband calls it “time to DHT” - the amount of time it takes from voicing a desire to resigning myself that it won’t happen (“don’t have to”). Tonight - like other times - was a very short time to DHT. I often give up before even trying, before exploring possible options.

“I don’t think we’re going to find somewhere that has really good ramen AND other food that’s also really good,” I continued explaining. “Most places specialize in one thing that’s really good or are mediocre at lots of things. We’ve tried before and it’s disappointing for both of us. Let’s just get something else tonight.”

But he wasn’t deterred. “Let me just try to find a place.” I reluctantly conceded, concerned about how this would turn out.

An hour or so later as we were diving into our food, I was never so happy to be proven wrong. The Tonkotsu ramen was just what I wanted. *chef’s kiss* And he was quite happy with the chicken katsu and gyoza.

I paused from furiously inhaling noodles to reflect. How often had I given up on a desire before even trying? Was I that desperate to avoid disappointment? Was I afraid to want? What would happen if I allowed myself to feel a desire without immediately squashing it?

Thanks to my husband, tonight resulted in a new favorite restaurant and gratifying slurps of fantastic ramen that I’ll be ordering again soon.

“I’m so glad you kept trying and didn’t give up, honey. Maybe next time I won’t give up either - at least not without trying first.”

To consider today: How do you respond when a desire pops up in your heart? Will you allow yourself to feel it?