The first lesson of improvisation is “yes and.” You never contradict your partner. You agree and then expand the conversation.

“Yes, it was a dark and stormy night, and the dry ground gratefully soaked up every raindrop.”

“Yes, the monster threatened everyone it encountered, and secretly wished it could belong with them.”

This “yes and” mindset is powerful when it comes to feeling and expressing our emotions. If we’re honest, we often feel seemingly contradictory emotions at the same time. Except they’re not contradictions.

We can be sad and grateful; insecure and angry; grieving and hopeful. This is what means to be human. This is being fully alive.

Yes, I feel very sad AND I appreciate the friend who sits with me as I cry.

Yes, I feel furious after that conversation AND I’m curious what prompted them to say those things.

Yes, I feel hopeful AND nervous about my next steps AND defensive about my competency.

Yes, I feel alienated because of the coronavirus AND empathetic towards those who are experiencing the same thing.

This approach helps us consider all the feelings we are currently experiencing, not just the most prominent one.

So the next time you catch yourself thinking “this amazing thing just happened - but I feel sad” consider the first rule of improv. Give yourself permission to be grateful for what has happened AND sad about the change that’s occurring.

Yes... and...

To reframe today: Yes, right now I feel _________, and I also feel __________.