Afraid of Fear and Becoming Friends
Fear is one of those universal human emotions we all experience. As with everyday life, the self-help titles of any online or physical bookstore are also littered with fear.
Bust fear
Fearless families
Fear is a liar
Fear is fuel
Overcome fear
Without fear
Shatter fear
Squash fear
Face fear
Leave fear
Less fear
No fear
Kill fear
Deadly fears
Modern fear
Beyond fear
The titles alone seem to indicate fear is some kind of horrific monster that must be eradicated - potentially at all costs. Clinical anxiety aside, why are we so afraid of fear? Why is fear the enemy?
Perhaps you’re thinking, “Why wouldn’t we be afraid of fear? It’s not exactly a joy ride!” I know it’s scary to be scared. And feeling afraid is often accompanied by feeling like we’re not in control, which is a scary sensation.
Discomfort aside, maybe we blame fear for not being able to achieve our dreams or thwarting our happiness in life. “If we could just stop being afraid, then....”
But I’m mostly curious about what’s underneath the fear. What is fear trying to tell us? What prompted the feeling of unease or apprehension? Why are we dreading this conversation or experience? What if we were willing to feel fear to find out?
Remember that our emotions are signals. Fear alerts us to something that needs our attention. Let’s not annihilate the messenger.
What would it look like to befriend fear instead? To listen to their concerns and evaluate the merit in light of other available information. To consider what prompted their concern and what stories or beliefs may be at play. To choose how we will respond. To recognize and appreciate how they’re watching out for us.
Is fear as dangerous as the book titles make it out to be? Maybe that’s up for us to decide.
Friendship is always a choice.
To consider today: How will I choose to interact with fear?