Growing Pains
For as much talk as there is about growing and learning, trying new things, failing and doing better, I’ve realized one glaring omission.
Growing hurts.
It’s incredibly uncomfortable. It doesn’t ‘feel’ like all the positive things we hear about growth. There are massive amounts of uncertainty (is this actual growth or am I on a hamster wheel of mistakes?) and insecurity (I’m doomed for sure).
It’s uncomfortable and messy. Growth only looks pretty after the fact - the sanitized story of how we got out of our comfort zone and matured with confidence and certainty. The gruesome feels are often overshadowed and sometimes omitted because it all worked out. And don’t get me wrong, celebrating growth milestones is important and necessary. But we need to be mindful we don’t leave out the painful parts that are inextricably tied to growth.
I believed the myth of a feel-good-growth. It was inspirational. And honestly, who wouldn’t want to grow in a way that feels like constant high-fives and confetti falling from the sky?
Then life happened. I kept thinking to myself - I must not actually be growing, because if I were, it would feel different - it would feel good or at least better than this.
But I realized that the sanitized story isn’t a complete picture of reality. There’s a reason the phrase ‘growing pains’ exists. Growing often feels yucky and discouraging and exhausting and it’s not clear if you are even growing at all.
Basically, growth is good and necessary but experiencing it sucks.
So if you’re like me, smack in the middle of a messy, painful season of growth, know that it’s normal to feel like crap. That uncertainty, doubt, shame, dread, impatience, or disappointment you are feeling? All very natural to growing.
Let’s get real about what growth actually feels like. Maybe it’s more like a disorienting fog than an inspirational pep talk.
To share today: What does growth actually feel like to you?